Culture

So I’ve been lying in my bed restless, and this after taking night-time cold medicine, for the last 2 hours. Before I layed down I spent a good long while reading some scripture, some devotionals, and another book. I’m feeling right now that all I want for my life is to be doing what God wants me to be doing and going where He wants me to go. I don’t know what this mean for my future. I’ve had a million possible actions run through my head, from continuing on with where and what I’m doing, to up and moving to even another country and doing something. I’m beginning to feel an urgency. I’m thinking this is what has been causing all my restless nights for the past two weeks. I guess perhaps I am feeling like there needs to be a change in my life. I don’t really know what that change should be, perhaps I’m not suppose to know yet what that change is. I wonder if God is just opening my heart to the possibility of change, so that when it comes I’ll be ready to follow Him through that change.

At times I sort of feel cursed having so many interests and abilities. I feel sort of pulled in every direction, even by my own thoughts. The areas of music, technology, and just the great needs I see that youth have these days, seem to cause me not to know which way to go. Something that compounds this is my continued growth in the area of the Life Shapes seem to pull me in yet another direction. Ultimately wherever God calls me, I sense that I need to be building the kind of relationships that count for eternity, not just for the here and now.
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